Moving abroad alone: how to build a social life from zero
Moving abroad alone is one of the bravest things you can do, and one of the loneliest for a while. You're dealing with a new language, a new bank, a new everything, and the people who usually help you through hard weeks are a time zone or five away.
The good news: almost everyone who moves abroad alone builds a social life eventually. The people who do it fastest tend to follow the same pattern.
Before you move
Tell everyone where you're going
Post it, message your group chats, tell your coworkers. Ask one question: "Who do you know there?" You'll get names you'd never have found yourself: an old classmate's sister, a friend's former coworker, someone from your hometown who moved years ago. Each of those is a coffee in your first month.
Line up two or three introductions before you land
Ask your friends to introduce you properly, ideally in a group chat, before you arrive. Having a coffee in the diary for your first week makes a huge difference to how those first days feel.
Research your first neighbourhood for people, not just price
Living somewhere central and walkable, close to cafes, gyms and transport, makes it far easier to say yes to plans. Our city pages list the neighbourhoods newcomers tend to choose.
Your first three months
Build one weekly routine straight away
Choose one recurring activity in your first fortnight: a run club, a language class, a climbing gym, a five-a-side game. Go every week. Seeing the same faces is what turns acquaintances into friends.
Take a language class even if you don't need it
Language classes are full of other newcomers in exactly your position, and they meet two or three times a week. Many lifelong expat friendships start in beginner classes.
Say yes to everything
Every invitation, for the first three months. The person whose birthday drinks you nearly skipped is often the one who introduces you to your eventual friend group.
Find your people from home, then branch out
Expat groups for your country or language are a soft landing when everything else is unfamiliar. Use them for support, but don't stop there. The richest life abroad mixes locals, other foreigners and friends of friends.
Handling the lonely weeks
Most people hit a low point somewhere between month two and month four, when the excitement has worn off and friendships haven't formed yet. It's normal and it passes.
- Keep regular calls with family and old friends.
- Keep your routines going even when you don't feel like it.
- Get outside every day, and go somewhere with people around you, even if you don't talk to anyone.
- If loneliness turns into something heavier, talk to a professional. Many therapists work online in your own language.
Six months in
By six months most people have a handful of friends and a couple of places that feel like theirs. Keep investing: host a dinner, introduce people to each other, and become the person who helps the next newcomer settle in.
Questions
How do you make friends after moving abroad alone?
Start with introductions from people you already know, then build weekly routines in your new city, like a sport, a language class or a coworking space. Repeated time with the same people is what builds friendships.
How long does it take to settle in after moving abroad?
Most people say it takes six months to a year to feel at home. The first three months are usually the hardest socially.
Is it normal to feel lonely after moving abroad?
Yes. Nearly everyone who moves abroad alone goes through a lonely patch, often between the second and fourth month. Keeping routines and saying yes to invitations helps it pass faster.
What should I do in my first week after moving abroad?
Sort the essentials like a SIM card and transport, then book at least one coffee with a friend of a friend and sign up for one weekly activity, so you have people and a routine from the start.